說話的藝術

急事，慢慢的說
大事，清楚的說
小事，幽默的說
沒把握的事，謹慎的說
沒發生的事，不要胡說
做不到的事，別亂說
傷害人的事，不能說
不開心的事，找對對象說
開心的事，看場合說
傷心的事，不要見人就說
別人的事，小心的說
自己的事，聽聽別人怎麼說
尊長的事，多聽少說
夫妻的事，商量著說
孩子們的事，開導著說

有一天坐計程車, 他椅背上掛了這幅字. 我覺得這是老天給我的機會教育. 因為我這個人就是太口沒遮攔了. 常常心裡想到什麼事就講出來. 尤其是跟家人和好朋友. 也不管對方想不想聽, 有沒有心情聽, 聽了我的胡言亂語之後會有什麼感想, 會不會受傷害等等. 真的是很不替人著想.

自我反省中.

差點被騙的經歷

常常聽人說在台灣要小心詐騙集團. 我以前對這個名詞沒什麼特別的感覺, 可能想說"詐騙集團"就等於"很多騙子"吧. 可是我錯了. 他們真的是"集團". 他們的作業是有組織, 有計畫, 有分工的.

話說昨天下午五點左右, 我跟老公正準備出門騎腳踏車. 我接到一個電話, 來電顯示是:
(02) 2162-6698

對方跟我說她是Happy Go, 問我是不是上禮拜買過東西. 我說是, 錢也付了, 貨也收了, 請問有什麼問題. 她說送貨的人來的時候拿錯單子. 問我單子是誰簽的. 我說就樓下的管理員哪. 她說我的管理員也沒看就簽了, 那張是簽說我同意12個月為期的分期付款. 這中間的收訊蠻差的. 我一開始搞不懂她在說什麼, 什麼今晚十二點等等. 總之越聽越火大. 後來她說請主任跟我講. 這位主任解釋了很久. 她的意思是說因為是電腦作業, 如果今晚十二點前沒取消這筆分期付款, 合約就開始生效, 銀行就會開始自動扣款了. 我想說, 什麼?? 我又沒簽字, 還有, 電腦有怎麼知道要從哪個銀行扣款? 哪個帳號? 這時我就應該想到是詐騙集團, 可是我又不確定是不是我自己不了解台灣銀行的作業. 她說因為管理員代替我簽了, 然後有我的名字, 身份證字號等等, 他們系統是跟全台108家銀行連線的, 就會知道從哪個帳號扣款. 這中間收訊一直不好. 我一方面很火大, 一方面不想無端端要多付12個月的莫名其妙的分期付款. 我在 Happy Go 是買了個台幣$759 (大概加幣$25) 的桌子而已. 搞什麼? (我也沒想到詐騙集團會知道我在 Happy Go 買過東西.) 最後她問我用哪家銀行, 她會請那家銀行跟我聯繫來處理這個取消的動作. 我想說只是告訴她銀行名稱不會怎樣. 就告訴她了. 然後她問我那家銀行的客服電話. 我給她台北市內的號碼, 她說一定要0800開頭的號碼. 剛好我有同一家銀行的信用卡, 那張上就有0800的號碼, 就給了 她. 然後她說馬上跟我的銀行聯繫, 把我的資料傳過去等等.

沒多久, 我的電話就響了. 這次是個男的. 來電顯示是 +800 開頭, 就是我剛剛給的0800號碼. (這是我後來才看的. 當時我就接了電話沒看來電號碼.) 他自稱是我的銀行打來的. 因為銀行已經打烊, 內部電腦都下線了, 我必須到提款機印一張餘額單然後告訴他那張單子上某一些號碼才能證實我是本人要取消這個分期付款的合約. (其實他說了很多很多, 因為我有很多很多的質疑. 這通電話收訊也不好. 他實在是說的太多了, 根本記不得細節.) 總之我被說服了. 他問我要多久才能到提款機. 我說大概15分鐘吧. 我說我打給他, 他說因為是加班時間,電話打不進去等等.. 還是他打給我. 於是我跟老公騎腳踏車出門. 騎到半路下雨了, 老公堅持我們立刻掉頭回家, 他不要我淋雨. 回到家, 那個自稱銀行的人又打來了. 我跟他說再15分鐘. 這次我們走過去. 一路上老公說這應該是詐騙集團吧. 我說人家也沒問我的帳號啊. 而且難道我要自認倒楣付這個12個月的分期付款嗎? 所以就為了不想無端端被扣款, 我們走去了離家最近的 7-11 (10分鐘後). 要領錢才能印餘額單. 所以我領了三千元. 然後我們又往回家的路上走去. 自稱銀行的人打來了. 他問我單據上的時間是幾點, 交易機號是多少. 餘額是多少. 我想說這些都無關痛癢, 就告訴他了. 餘額是三萬左右. 當然我有質疑為什麼他自己查不到. 理由當然是銀行關門了, 系統進不去等等. 後來他叫我再回到提款機那裏. 我說我已經離開了, 幹嘛還要回去? 他請我等一等. 後來就請他的主管跟我講.

這位自稱銀行的主管梁小姐解釋了一大堆, 總之就是要我回提款機做一些動作才能取消這個分期付款的合約等等. 我很白癡的又被說服了. 回到提款機, 她叫我選"轉帳", 然後金額打"12", 表示要讓系統在12點前都不接受任何轉帳, 銀行號打"013", 螢幕上顯示了某銀行的名字, 她說不用理, 013 就是會讓系統知道我這個動作是要停止轉帳到12點. 然後帳號的部分打我自己的身份證號碼. 夠扯了吧! 到這個時候我已經跟他們耗掉一個半小時了. 然後又滿身大汗, 然後又很懷疑到底這是真的還是假的. 又餓又累. 反正我就照做了. 結果是交易不成功. 對方說螢幕就是會顯示交易不成功, 實際上是已經停止轉帳到12點. 於是我們又開始往回家的路上走了. 然後對方又說什麼現在要給我一個交易密碼, 是用來取消那個分期付款的合約的. 密碼是 29989. 又要我回去提款機. 我說我明天去銀行搞這個. 對方堅持明天就太晚了, 合約已經生效. 又跟她來來往往扯了很久. 最後我又回到提款機前面. 她這次又叫我按"轉帳", 然後金額就是剛剛說那個密碼, 打進去就變成$29,989. 然後銀行號還是013, 帳號是508xxxxxxx.. 我不記得了, 但是我一聽就覺得那根本就是一個有效的帳號. 所以我就取消了. 對方還在努力的嘗試說服我. 我說我就付那個分期付款吧. 掛了電話之後我們又往回家的路上走.

電話又來了, 這次是自稱 Happy Go 的. 她說收到銀行的退件, 問我為什麼要默認倒霉, 付這個明明可以取消的分期付款? 我問她有利息嗎? 她說沒有. 我說那我就分12期再付一次$759. 她說可是那個合約是每個月$759, 因為送貨的人把我一次付清的款項當作是第一期的付款. 我又被她說服了, 她說請銀行再打給我. 掛了電話後, 老公說, 不如你自己打去銀行問. 我這時才看來電顯示, (02) 2162-6698 根本就不是 Happy Go 的電話. 於是我打電話去我的銀行, 直接轉金融卡報失盜用的部門. 跟他們講了事情的經過, 銀行小姐說我的確碰到詐騙集團了, 類似的事件她們聽過很多..

回家的路上詐騙集團又打電話來了. 連續幾通我們都沒接. 後來很煩了, 所以我就接了. 我告訴對方我決定自己明天去找銀行理論. 當然又扯了半天. 但是這次我很堅持我會自己去銀行處理這件事, 對方才終於放棄了, 結束了將近3小時的疲勞轟炸. 回到家都快8點了. 我很懊惱自己的愚蠢. 然後也對台灣的詐騙集團感到很震驚. 我太天真了, 想像不到會有一群一群的人他們工作的內容就是騙別人的錢. 他們聽起來真的就很像是銀行的人還是會計部的人等等. 表示訓練的很好, 台詞也非常熟練.. 怎麼會有那麼多黑心的人? 這真的是出乎我的想像.

今天和朋友吃飯. 聊到在台灣薪水階級真的賺錢不容易, 他說因為台灣大多數的產業都是在很競爭的環境下求生存. 不斷減少開支的結果就變成低薪. 房價物價卻還是那麼高. 所以就會有那麼多人加入詐騙集團.. 蠻有道理的..

I guess this whole experience qualifies as cultural shock...

2.5 weeks after treatment

First things first: I'm feeling great!! Hubby arrived Taipei a week after I was done with treatment. Since then, I've had a few doctor's visits - just routine stuff. My first MRI scan will be scheduled in the first week of September, and the dr. said the result of that is most likely to be a good one. My nausea has improved a lot: now I'm only nauseous if I'm in a foul-smelling environment. I also have a lot more energy to go out now. (That's why I haven't wrote anything in my blog for a while. I've been shopping and running errands with hubby~)

To all the people out there who care about me: Thank you so much!! I'm feeling great!!

So what is my next step? I guess it would be to become healthier: eat well, sleep well, exercise regularly, and be happy.

I'm doing OK in the eating and sleeping departments but I'm not exercising regularly yet. Right now I'm up to the level of having physical activity daily, such as walking for a couple of hours, biking on flat road for 15 minutes, swimming for 5 minutes, etc. Walking is easy - whenever we go out, we are bound to be walking a lot. Biking is much harder because I am terrible at it. I tried out my mom's really high-end mountain bike and it kind of scares me how fast it goes. Plus, I have no idea about changing gears and I don't dare go up or down hill at all.. The sheer size of the bike intimidates me.. LOL. So I think my next step is to get a suitable bike for me, a 156cm (sometimes 155cm) beginner rider who is afraid of little hills and anyone showing on my side while I ride.. lol. Once I have my own bike, I want to go ride with hubby in the evenings when it's cooler out there. We live in this beautiful neighborhood that's perfect for road bike. Of course it would be more beautiful to ride during the day when we can see the river and the green and stuff but it's really too hot right now. The point is, I want to go from having daily physical activity to exercising daily.

As for being happy, I'm happy that my treatment is over. I'm happy hubby is here, but I'm not happy that we're not with Evie. Us being here is already disrupting my brother's life so I don't want to bring Evie here and totally flip over his place. So we have to find jobs and sell our condo in Toronto so we can settle down in a place of our own and bring Evie here finally. Hubby's been here 1.5 weeks and we've already registered our marriage, he's done the required body check and received the report today. Tomorrow we are ready to apply for his permanent residency status! In the mean time he's working on resume and autobiography. I wonder if I should start working on my own resume and autobiography too.. Anyway. So we are moving towards bring Evie over, which will make me happy. Playing the piano also makes me happy. I've been practicing a few tunes I learned from friends in high school.. I'm considering learning German again because that always makes me happy too; I don't know why.

Phase 2 Week 6

Week 6 was relatively short because I had my last treatment on Thursday :) It is all done now. I'm no longer required to go to the hospital everyday!! So happy!!

I continue to be nauseous though. However, it is getting better slowly, and I am just happy that treatment is finally over. Next step is to get myself scanned again in about 1.5 months and see if i've rid of the cancer. If all goes well, i will not need further treatment. So let's hope that's the way it'll be!!

As much as I miss Evie, I am more scared of cancer. So I think I will wait for a while before I even begin to think about moving Evie over. The last thing I want is another come back of cancer..

Evie is almost 2 years old~ She just had her very first birthday party over the past weekend. Thanks to Ka, here are the pictures of the day: http://www.kaphoto.ca/pic/Evie2YearsOldBdayParty_StanHome_Jul2009/

Phase 2 Week 5

Sorry for the delay.. Last week had seen me super nauseous and a bit depressed than usual because of the discomforts. I resumed chemo on Monday as scheduled, which was a good thing. However, before I actually got injected with the chemo, I had a pretty bad episode of vomit and diarrhea. The end result of that was an instant weight loss of 1.5 kg even before the chemo.. When I checked out on Tuesday, my weight was an all time low of 41.5 kg. The next day I was 41.2 kg. It scared the hell out of me. Over the week I slowly pulled back to 42 kg. I had been very nauseous for the entire week so I only managed to eat a regular amount - not enough to be gaining any significant weight. (At least I didn't lose more!) Because of the nausea, I decided to devote my attention to TV. It seems when my full attention is diverted, I don't feel the nausea as much as if I were left to my own devices. However, when night came and I start getting ready to bed, that's usually when nausea hits me the worst. As soon as I walked in the bathroom, I had the urge to run towards the toilet and start puking. Thankfully I didn't actually puke too much - only 3 times that I can remember. A few nights I tried an anti-nausea med that simply knocked me off to sleep, which thankfully seems to work. Except that it makes my morning quite drowsy and then I missed my brother's breakfast time for a few days. Usually I can hear him in the kitchen and I would come out to say hi to him, try to have breakfast with him, and then watch him go out the door. The anti-nausea med made me slept through my little morning rituals and I didn't like that. And then at night as I fought with the nausea I also had to fight the feeling of helplessness. I know so many people love me and everything, but when dealing with cancer, I just feel I'm so utterly alone. I know I'm really not alone but sometimes I just can't help it with my sudden outbursts of tears. I feel ashamed that I am so weak in spite of whatever people keep telling me, that I am strong, whatever. I'm really not. I know for all the people who love me, I have to be strong, if not for me, for them. But it is really so much easier said than done. Of course I'm sure I'm only thinking like this because I'm physically not feeling well and it's getting on my nerves. You know and I know that I am just venting and this is only temporary, OK? I promise I will return to the self that you all like better, the much more positive one, in less than 2 weeks. My treatment is supposed to end at the end of week 6 and then give me another week to recover from the aftereffects of the last of the treatment.. Once I'm no longer nauseated I should be feeling much much better. I'm really looking forward to that. I also saw much less of my hubby and Evie on Skype this week because I was feeling too crappy to be sitting in front of my laptop.. I miss them dearly and wish they could be over here with me.. but at the same time I also know I don't have the means to have Evie taken care of here at this moment.. and the best arrangement is for her to remain there with her grandparents, aunt, uncle, and cousin.. her daddy's spending a month with her there also makes her so happy.. I want my little girl to be happy.. it's bad enough that her mommy can't be with her.. but I can't stop my hubby from wanting to be with me. So he will leave Evie after her 2nd birthday.. A part of me looks forward to his return, but a much larger part of me wishes he could remain with Evie.. I want Evie's happiness much more than my own. But Daddy doesn't think the same way as mommy does so he'll be here after Evie's birthday. And he needs to be here to start getting his residency and etc to start a life here in Taiwan... I'm really looking forward to it. The future.